One Working Brain Cell
Sent to @alex • “Use it wisely”
Emotional Support Potato
Sent to Sam • “You got this today”
CEO of Bad Decisions
Sent to @jordan • “After last night”
An Invisible Pet Dinosaur
Sent to Taylor • “He bites”
A Pigeon With a LinkedIn Profile
Sent to @chris • “Let’s circle back”
A Frog Wearing a Tiny Top Hat
Sent to Maya • “A polite gentleman”
Both Sides of the Pillow Warm
Sent to @devon • “Sweet dreams”
Get Out of Plans Free Pass
Sent to Riley • “Redeem anytime”
One Working Brain Cell
Sent to @alex • “Use it wisely”
Emotional Support Potato
Sent to Sam • “You got this today”
CEO of Bad Decisions
Sent to @jordan • “After last night”
An Invisible Pet Dinosaur
Sent to Taylor • “He bites”
A Pigeon With a LinkedIn Profile
Sent to @chris • “Let’s circle back”
A Frog Wearing a Tiny Top Hat
Sent to Maya • “A polite gentleman”
Both Sides of the Pillow Warm
Sent to @devon • “Sweet dreams”
Get Out of Plans Free Pass
Sent to Riley • “Redeem anytime”
One Working Brain Cell
“Congratulations. Your total thinking capacity has officially doubled. Please don’t spend it all on a single group-chat argument.”
Emotional Support Potato
“Round, dependable, and asks zero difficult questions. Sits quietly on your desk and radiates unconditional starch-based encouragement.”
CEO of Bad Decisions
“Includes a corner office overlooking a dumpster fire and unanimous board approval for whatever chaotic text you’re about to send next.”
Invisible Pet Dinosaur
“You cannot see him, but he weighs 400 pounds, loves sitting on your keyboard, and breathes loudly in dark hallways.”
A Lifetime Supply of Nothing
“Zero calories, zero assembly required, and takes up zero closet space. Refills automatically whenever you run out.”
A Tiny Dragon Who Believes in You
“No larger than a teacup. Breathes tiny celebratory sparks every time you drink water, reply to an email, or survive a Monday.”
Certificate of Being Chronically Online
“Signed by the council of people who haven’t touched grass since the last software update. Please go look at a tree.”
A Startup That Actually Ships
“A mythical artifact spoken of only in ancient legends. Zero pivot decks, zero stealth mode—it just works.”
Match the gift to the friendship
Whether they just did something dumb or genuinely need their day made, there’s a box for it.
Roast a friend
For friends making questionable life choices who need a gentle reality check.
Wholesome boost
For people who actually deserve a hug, a win, or a pocket-sized cheerleader.
Mildly cursed
Harmlessly unsettling things nobody asked for and nobody can explain.
Pure nonsense
Deadpan nonsense and prestigious useless artifacts for the group chat.
Three steps. Fifteen seconds.
No sign-ups, no credit cards, and no spoiled surprises in the link preview.
“Saw this and thought of you.”
Pick your victim
Type their name or @handle, and add a short note if you’re feeling bold.
One Working Brain Cell
Picked by hand
Emotional Support Potato
Surprise Roulette
An Invisible Pet Dinosaur
Surprise Roulette
Pick a gift (or gamble)
Choose the exact item yourself, or spin the wheel and let fate decide.
Drop the link in chat
The link preview stays a secret until they tap unwrap and see what they got.